:: more ranting ::

Today I was almost written off by a prat in a silver Toyota RunX. From Cape Town, no less. I was tootling down a main road in Johannesburg at 60km/h, not 500m from my office, when this nincompoop decided to risk a turn across the traffic and across my bow. Fortunately I have excellent reflexes and I was not exceeding the speed limit for a change (only because a minibus taxi had already improved my sense of humour by screeching to a halt in front of me and then changing lanes anyway).

I slammed on my brakes, as did he, and we stopped not two centimeters apart. That's less than an inch if you're reading this from across the ocean. My tyres had skidded, so I was unsure if I would stop. As I drove around the front of him, I screamed "you fucking arsehole" as loud as I could, and all he did was flip me his middle finger. Can you believe the audacity? I should not have stopped at all. Perhaps an attempt at braking. You know, one second on the pedal. I am insured after all.

I've ranted about this before. Bad drivers on the road. People who do not think before acting. It's not speed that kills 10 000 people annually on our roads. It's pure stupidity. For the best part of a week, we've had rain falling in Johannesburg. It has not been heavy rain. In fact, the visibility was quite good considering the weather.

However, as with all things South African, people did not know how to deal with this new and interesting phenomenon we call "weather". Having been to Europe on several occasions, this "weather" we experienced was a typical wet day in Amsterdam. And yet, as I drove at under the legal minimum speed on a highway because everyone was unsure how to drive in wet weather, it took me almost 100 minutes to travel 15km. Again, for you Americans, that means it took me almost two hours to drive ten miles. It normally takes me fifteen minutes, and half an hour if there's heavy traffic.

I think that there should be wet-weather training for all drivers who get their drivers licences, whether bought or earned. That way, I could actually get to work on time. When driving in the wet, you should drop your average speed by between 10 to 20km/h, not by almost 100! And if your car is slow in any event, do not hog the fast lane because you might be able to limp up the hill in third gear in dry conditions on a hot day if you get your momentum right at the bottom of the incline. Get the fuck into the slow lane. That's where you belong.

And for the life of me, I cannot fathom why truck drivers, including those dragging articulated trailers, consider wet weather the perfect opportunity to drive in the fast and middle lanes on a freeway. They are even bigger wankers than farmers in hats who drive 4x4 trucks.

You heard it first here.

Copyright © 23/01/2004 Randolph Potter

Back to previous page | Writing Page