Randolph West
Cleverly disguised as a Canadian
Search
Main menu
Skip to primary content
Skip to secondary content
Home
About Me
Legal Information
Photos of Me
The Tomcruise Page
Top Ten
Topkapi
Random Ramblings
PGP Public Key
Humour
Tasteful
25 Funniest Analogies
8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter
All About Beer
Corporate Lessons
Dilbertisms
Even Technicians Get Fooled
Giving a Cat a Pill
Haiku Error Messages for Windows
How to Bathe a Cat
How to Install Software
I’ve Learned
Letter to Koos
McDonnell Douglas
Men of the 21st Century
Overheard from Klingon Programmers
Pinky and the Brain
Puns for Educated Minds
Rules For Dogs
Taxi At Soweto
The English Language
There Ought To Be A Word For That
UNIX Rhapsody
Useless Information
What’s Wrong with this Picture?
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
Why the Star Trek Future is Impossible
Why Women Are Better Than Men
Windows 8 Recall
Wise Words
You Are a Child of the Eighties If …
You Know You Are Too Stressed When …
Tasteless
10 Things That Suck About Being A Guy
100 Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Man
14 Things A Man Can Do At A Hyperama
A Consent Plea
Blonde One-Liners
Epol Diet
Even if you win …
Free Advice and Nifty Ideas
Gay Wedding Rules
If Santa Answered His Mail Honestly
Life Tips
Little Johnny Jokes
Michael Jackson Jokes
Momma Jokes
Various Other Momma Jokes
Your Momma Is So Fat
Your Momma Is So Old
Your Momma Is So Stupid
Your Momma Is So Ugly
New South African Dictionary
Nun Jokes
One-Liners From Hell
Pooh Goes Ape-Shit
Questions You Were Too Afraid To Ask
Really Sick Baby Jokes
Really Terrible Diana Jokes
Sir Paul and Heather
The Canonical List of Chuck Norris Facts
The Hoff
The Saga of Eskimo Nell
Things You Don’t Want To Hear During Surgery
Tips For Evil Cult Members
Tips For Evil Overlords
Twenty Rules To Live By At Halloween (And For That Matter, All Year Around)
Useful Phrases For Arab Travel
Welcome to Hell
Winnie-the-Pooh Jokes
Women And Men
You Know You Are In South Africa When …
You Know You Live In Johannesburg When …
You Know You’re Gay When …
Writing
Articles
Copyright and You
Deep Share: Start the Revolution With Me
Matching Business Intelligence with Cloud Computing
Microsoft Antitrust Lawsuit
Of Plastic Knives, Ice Packs and Paper Napkins
Online Storage
Open Letter to the President of South Africa, Mr Thabo Mbeki
Postulations on Quantum Theory
The Da Vinci Code
The Linux / Windows Argument
Original Writing
A Torturous Life
Bad Days
caesar had some jam for tea
Epilogue – Three Years Hence
FK
He Held Out His Hand
Survival
The Coldest Day in History
The Intruder
The Intruder: Falrech
The Intruder: Marek
The Intruder: Ted
The Intruder: The Dogs
The Kid
Vinnie the Virus
Plays
The Survivor
Poetry
1987
The Cruiser
The Eagle
1988
August 1945
Catch It!
Overcoming Affliction
1994
Birds of War
Blade (Dedicated to Lorena Bobbit)
Bonfire of the Psychopath – Part I
Bonfire of the Psychopath – Part II
Finesse
Lamp
My …
Rugby
White Stick
1996
Bitch!
No More Tears
No Tomorrow
1997
Do What You Want To Do
Morning All
1999
Atrocity
Home-Coming Queen
Killing Time
Mary Had A Little Lamb
What Game Do You Play?
When Freddie Died
2000
Hey Baby
2002
A Feeling
Be Mine
Crazy
Empty
Fate
Muff, the Plastic Drag Queen
Music
Ode to the Catholic Church
2003
Mercenary
Poke Her
2004
Light in the Window
The Anchor
To Be
2006
Dancing
Love Is
2007
Feel the Love
2008
Hungry For You
Mary
My Life For You
Penelope-Anne
2009
Damaged Goods
Friend
Hindsight
Lips
Mommy
The Monster Under The Bed
2010
Dirty Fridge Poetry
Millions
Writings Not By Me
Famous Quotations
Legacy (Dan Rabinowitz)
Small Dark Glasses (Matthew Hall)
The Land of Netherbedoe (Brendon Bezuidenhout)
Why Terminator 3 Will Suck (Will Shaw)
Sayings
Contact Me
1987
Poems written in 1987.